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Surgeon: Dr. Michel Gagner, Mt. Sinai Medical Center, New York City Revision date: February 23, 2004 Most recent update: April 2004
by Stephanie: In my opinion, the worst part of my lifelong battle with weight has been knowing how wonderful it feels to be at a normal weight, and by contrast, how bad it feels to be obese. I enjoyed very happy and significant portions of my life looking normal, and in 1999 at age 33, and at my highest weight of around 290, I knew I wanted to find the permanent way to get back to normal and live the rest of my life that way. Being an obese child was no fun, and though I escaped the typical cruel taunts from my classmates and neighborhood playmates, being treated as if I was invisible and not acceptable was bad enough. The shame my mother poured on me for being obese and hard to shop for was the worst and has taken years of therapy to overcome. By the time my sophomore year of high school rolled around, I decided I was tired of being fat and lonely, and took matters into my own hands. Eating only vitamins, tea and one Weight Watcher frozen meal a day, I dropped 100 lbs in a matter of a few months. I also lost hair, my period stopped, and I fainted sometimes, but I was thin at last, my social life picked up and boys were interested in me! I put on a few pounds when I realized I was sick from not eating but I stayed normal-looking through my senior year of college. To accomplish this, I had to seriously deprive myself of food and somehow I did it. During this period I felt confident, attractive, worthwhile, but very deprived because of how little I had to eat to stay thin -- at that point it was worth it though. After a bad break up with a boyfriend. I “gave up” and stopped denying myself food, and of course went way overboard when I did eat. I enjoyed the food but ended up at about 240 and had lost all my confidence and felt horrible about myself. After wallowing in it for a while, I knew I would have to diet again but didn’t want to get sick again, so this led me to Weight Watchers for the first time. With serious deprivation again, I got down to “normal” and men were interested again. This time I ended up with a man who was very interested in keeping me thin, and when I “let go” again and let myself eat things like pizza and dessert, I gained it all back plus 20 lbs. to end up at 260, and suddenly his love for me changed! I was so hurt and mad about his attitude that it made me eat more and I stayed fat for a long while. By the way, he never went away or broke up with me, he stuck around to make me feel bad about myself. Once I got sick of being fat again, I went back to WW and lost again and looked normal again. By this time I was engaged to the man who wanted me thin -- but when I reached 175 and felt great about myself, he made it clear that he wished I was even thinner. Sick of him and knowing 175 was more than good enough for me, I gave him his ring back and started a whirlwind of casual dating. It was great, and on one particular Valentines day, I had 3 admirers and had to juggle my Valentine celebrations so they didn’t run into each other! After a while, I wondered if any of these men would like me if I gained weight again, which set me off on my search for a man who would love me no matter what. Even though I was 175 and looked good, some part of my mind still thought of me as fat, or it may just have been the fact that I knew eventually I would gain the weight back. In any case, it led me to a man who said he liked full-figured women. We spoke on the phone first and I told him I considered myself full figured - he has always claimed he was cheated because at 175 I was not. We had a wonderful courtship and of course, at some point, I began to gain weight. He has turned out to be the only man who ever found me attractive at a high weight, and has loved me fat, thin and in between. We have been married for 3 ½ years and when I started talking about WLS, he got very nervous. Even though I had the consistent love of a wonderful man, when I ended up at 290, I was full of self-loathing and knew I did not want to stay that way. I tried to diet again, but my body refused to lose again. Then one day a co-worker told me her sister was having weight-loss surgery -- an RNY. My first reaction was “Wow, that really is a drastic thing to do”. But that day, I started researching -- it was June of 1999. At first, I thought I wanted the RNY, but began noticing that life after surgery was probably going to be hard and might be filled with complications. It was on the AMOS site that I first saw someone describe the DS surgery she had had. I don’t remember her name, but she reported little to no side effects, no RNY complications, and the ability to eat anything without dumping or feeling ill. That was it -- I did feverish research and was soon referred to the Onelist DS group. Once there, I learned a lot and seemed to have a lot in common with a woman named Jill (yes, the wonderful Ms. Sokol)! She referred me to Dr. Gagner and helped me through the pre-op madness. By October I had a consult and surgery scheduled for 12/13/99! I found many other wonderful people on the Onelist group and they gave me much support, encouragement and advice. I finally felt like there was hope for me -- maybe I did have a chance at losing the weight again and keeping it off. Getting insurance approval was not a battle for me, thank God, and all the pre-op testing went well and fast. SURGERY DAY I was not nervous until the day before surgery -- then I got terrified and put myself on automatic pilot as many suggested. On Monday December 13th, my husband, sister and I boarded the train for NYC -- my husband’s first train ride to the city and his first taxi ride! Our trip was uneventful until we stopped at a traffic light and this long-haired bearded man in a flowing white robe, with a long walking staff, and with a huge crucifix around his neck walked right past the front of our cab! The man may have been a nut, walking around dressed like Jesus, but my husband later told me he took it as a sign that everything was going to be OK! My surgery time was 1:30, but we got to Mt. Sinai in time to go over to the surgery waiting room and find Duffy’s husband who was a sweet man. He had been waiting there to hear about Duffy’s surgery, but nothing yet. We chatted, and he took our picture with his digital camera, and off we were to the “prep” area. We were a little early, but I went right in where they took a little blood, took a history etc.. Then we all waited and waited, and waited. We were there since 11:30, and by 3:00 I asked my husband to go see what was going on. The nurse called the O.R. and they said “We called for her 20 minutes ago”, so a debate ensued but in a few minutes, a woman came to escort me to the OR -- on foot as you may already know. I guess because we had been waiting so long, they let my sister and husband walk down with me. By this time I was very nervous, and after kissing my goodbyes, I went to meet the anesthesiologist. I did not look back at them, and I found out later, how glad I was I didn’t -- my husband was tearing up and it would have really gotten to me. After a while in the room the anesthesiologist came in and agreed to intubate me asleep if possible -- if he had trouble he would wake me up and try it again. Then he left and Dr. Wren (Dr. Gagner’s fellow) came in to lead me to the O.R. -- what a scary walk! Then they said “Hop up on the table”! Yea, OK - up I went, and then they put this big black belt on me to strap me to the table - at that point I felt like bolting out of there and saying “Never mind -- I changed my mind”, but I took Jill’s advice and just calmed down and laid back. No problem with any veins or the I.V., thank God -- and then I was out. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in recovery in the worst pain I had ever experienced. At that time, I thought the “What in God’s name have I done to myself?” thought. My husband and sister were there and they seemed upset to see me in pain. I had a pretty good nurse who gave me some morphine through the I.V. -- not a pump though. For some reason, Dr. Wren said she wanted to keep me off morphine, so I was alert and awake - “Thanks a lot!”, I thought! As I said, the pain felt horrendous to me -- worse than I expected -- I had never had surgery, or any other pain like that -- so I’m sure since it was the first time, it felt even worse -- every move hurt. I wasn’t in recovery long -- they came to wheel me to my room -- not such a bad ride -- no one bumping into walls. It was about 10:30pm at this point. I found out later, there was a delay after I got into the O.R. When I got to the room (10th floor), I knew there was no way I was moving from the gurney to the bed. That is when I first met Thomas - the closest thing to an angel I experienced at Mt. Sinai. He could see I was taking the pain bad, so he got three other guys to help him lift me onto the bed -- which hurt like hell, but at least it was over. At about 11:30 I told my sister and husband to please go home because it was so late, so they went. I don’t remember a lot more from that night, except getting Demerol by I.V. and asking for it whenever I could. I didn’t move all night and was able to get some sleep. The nurse that night, who I later found out was named Delinda, was very nice -- but then her shift ended and on came the only unpleasant nurse I ran in to. She was not mean, but seemed bothered every time I asked for pain medication -- she seemed not to like her job, but I got what I needed, so it wasn’t so bad. The next morning, bright and early they came to get me for the swallow test. Still being in horrendous pain, I could only think of Laurie who had gotten no help from anyone getting on the gurney and to the radiology table. But there was Thomas again with his three friends. Again, he could tell I wasn’t doing it alone. He said to his co-workers, “OK, let’s lift her” and one of the jerks with him says “Oh come on now, she’s got to help too”, and Thomas said ”No man, she can’t, let’s go”. I felt like reaching into this guys guts and rearranging them and seeing how he felt - but thank God for Thomas. Once down there, I got picked up by this really nice Indian radiology technician who was a bit of a comedian, but he also got some men to help him get me onto the table. It still hurt to move anything, so I wasn’t sure what I was in for, but the table moved, so I didn’t have to. Then came the stuff I had to swallow -- and I was nervous about throwing it up, but I sipped slow and it went OK -- no leaks! Before I knew it was over and I was transferred to the gurney again and brought back to my room. There they took the catheter out and I knew I was in for more pain, trying to get to the bathroom. To make the rest of the story short, let me say, I had wonderful nurses -- BeeCee, Dalinda, and Marylin -- the first two very sweet and attentive, the third attentive, but more businesslike. I had no complaints though -- I got regular pain medicine and good care -- and Andi knew the nursing supervisor Gretchen, which helped I’m sure - so thanks Andi. The people who came to do vitals and take blood were great too. Thomas made it his mission to get me up and walking and he really helped more than he had to, so for him I was very grateful. On my first walk, I went to visit Duffy and was glad to see her doing pretty good (before her second surgery). My roommate was a very nice lady - the poor woman had her rectum and colon removed and had a VERY good attitude toward learning how to care for herself, now that she would have to deal with a colostomy bag for the rest of her life. We got along great and I thanked God for that also. I have alot to be thankful for -- no surgery complications, being able to eat pretty well from the start, having Jill, Andi, and Max come visit, and having Patti M. and Duffy there with me too. I also felt loved when Laurie and Patti Milkmaid called to see how I was. I decided to stay an extra day (no one was stopping me!) so I went home Friday. The only nightmare happened Friday when I took the prescription for Percoset (I had been switched to that for pain by like Tues.) to the pharmacy and they said they couldn’t fill it because it was not filled out correctly. It is a controlled substance and needed this triplicate form, so the pharmacist said he couldn’t do anything. I started crying like a baby in the middle of the store - I was not dealing with the pain well at all, and the thought of no Percoset got me all upset. We even called down to Mt. Sinai and had the pharmacist on the phone, but because of legal bullshit, no one could do anything. After much wailing, my husband and I went to the emergency room hoping they would just write out a prescription correctly and they did after calling Dr. G. We called several Dr’s first to see if they could help but the heartless bastards didn’t. Once home, I was on pain meds nonstop for 3 weeks -- I must be a wimp. I was eating pretty well and having pretty good BM’s after the first day of nonstop elimination. My husband was a wonderful nurse -- he was home all week to help and I really needed his help. By Christmas I was feeling well enough to celebrate (subdued of course) with my family and by New Year’s Eve I was adventurous enough to try shrimp. I took a total of 4 weeks off from work and eased back into it slowly -- I had stamina problems in the beginning but again, thankfully, little else was a problem. Now, almost 5 months post-op, I am feeling pretty normal. I cannot eat a lot at a time, but consume a surprising amount in a day and I am still losing. I am still lactose-intolerant and have frequent, urgent BM’s when I over indulge in fats, but besides that, my life is pretty much back to normal -- which is one reason I chose the BPD/DS. My weight loss, while feeling slow, has been good -- almost 60lbs in less than 5 months and I am awaiting my first post-op bloodwork results. No hernias and no adhesion problems so far. As said, my life is pretty much normal again, but better because of all the self-confidence that has returned and because I feel different in the world now. I can only pray that everyone has an experience like mine so far and is as happy with their decision to have the BPD/DS as I am. I will add more as the months pass by! Please feel free to e-mail questions to me at if you have any. Hi all....since so much has happened lately, I thought I should post an update! At around 3 1/2 years post op (Summer 2003), I started having abdominal pain and found out in Dec 2003, it was an internal hernia. We found out because something showed up on a CT scan Dr. Gagner ordered. I had also been gaining weight for about a year and a half and while I was at Dr. Gagner's, I talked to him about that too. My low was 182, at the time of surgery this time, I was 213. So...he ran tests and while inside, found my stomach to be stretched back to a pretty large size and my alimentary limb had re-grown. I was scheduled for surgery right away (2/23/04) because of the possible complications the hernia could bring. Here is a rundown of what he did (surgery was over 4 hours long):
The Cornell/NYP hospital experience was great. I didn’t have a lot of trouble the first time at Mt. Sinai, but this Hospital is definitely top-notch …every other Dr. I talk to about it says so! I went in on Monday and left on Wednesday. Of course Dr. Gagner was wonderful again…visited me both days post-op and as always, I could tell he had concerns for my best health at the center of his plan. Once again, I think my success with the surgical part of this chapter, is totally due to Dr. Gagner's skill. I still can't believe the surgery took almost 5 hours. I totally trust his surgical skill and his ability to diagnose what the problem was and how he "fixed" me. I am glad he is so near, and to be his patient. Insurance ended up covering it because I basically went in for a hernia repair and the rest was “while he was in there”. The only bad part of the surgery for me, was waking up with the intubation tube still in my throat! Apparently during surgery, they had to give me extra "paralytic" drugs so none of my stomach muscles would move during the hernia repair part of surgery. They apparently also immobilized my diaphragm so they were still helping me breath with the ventilator when I woke up. That was a very unpleasant feeling and I caught myself panicking a few times...but was able to talk myself out of it and just relax. Apparently I woke up and responded much sooner than they expected so they took that damn tube out about an hour after I woke up - Thank God! They thought they were going to have to leave it in all night! The pain was much better than the original surgery and for that, I am so thankful. That was the hardest part for me last time. I guess it is better because they didn't do as much in there, and I think because I am allot lighter this time. I ran out of Percoset pretty quick and Diana Gee at Dr. G's office called in some Vicodin - a much lower dose and it didn’t work as well. I was off of work a total of 3 ½ weeks and bouncing back from surgery in general is about the same. I have been struggling a bit with nausea and acid problems but I am on Prilosec and that is helping. I am a bit paranoid about how much I am eating because it was the stretched stomach that did me in last time. I guess gaining really took a mental toll on me. I am still only able to eat about ¾ a cup of food, and I am tracking my intake on Fitday. I have imposed some "conditions" for my eating for the next six months designed to break me of my poor choices before surgery - in an attempt to do better this time. About the weight gain - for almost 4 years after my 1st surgery, I tried very hard not to compare myself to other DS patients but I knew I had not done as well as others and I was going back up the scale. I was satisfied where I landed but was very unhappy about gaining. I weigh myself on Saturdays and as of 4/24, I have lost 24lbs since surgery. That's it for now! I am very happy that it all worked out this way and I was able to get the revision work while he was doing the hernia repair, and that he found the gallbladder trouble before it really was evident. Any questions are welcomed…just let me know. I will post some pictures soon too.
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