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Surgeon: Dr. Robert Rabkin, San Francisco, CA
Surgery date: February 17, 2000
Pre-op weight: 255
Current weight: 115 (as of June 29, 2003)

Most recent update: January 18, 2005

by Sharon O.:

As far back as I can remember, food was my comfort. Growing up in a home that was rarely if ever harmonious, the one thing that always brought me peace, if only through the last bite, was something to eat.

I remember walking home from kindergarten and the closer I got to home, the faster I would walk, just wanting to rip into a snack. The older I got, it didn’t change. As early as third grade, my mother and stepfather would get on my case about my weight and what I was eating. My grades began to lower and my weight began to rise, and thus the real problems began.

Among the struggles within my family, I was also really beginning to struggle with my size. Feeling ugly and lonely only magnified my problems.

I wound up shortchanging myself by missing so many days and classes while going to college that I just stopped going altogether. Instead of going to class, I would sit in my car and eat enough food for 3 people. My paranoia told me that everyone must know what I do to myself, just look at me. I began to really isolate myself at that point. I would go to work, and then go home. I stopped putting effort into my social life. I was tired of being the fat one, the one that compared to my friends and other people I was gross. I felt like a big ugly gorilla crashing through the underbrush of the jungle every where I went.

 
Left: Summer 1990 - Pre-op, my lowest weight as an adult was 125 pounds. I ate 800 calories per day, and went to the gym 6 days a week. I was really suffering to get to this weight. It lasted about six months.
Right: Fall 1999 - Here I am after years of yo-yo dieting. 245 pounds and climbing. Very sad inside and ready for a change and end to my suffering.

Not only was I physically unhealthy, I had become very emotionally unhealthy.

As we all know, life takes some unexpected twists and turns. I began a relationship with a wonderful guy, my James. He stayed with me even at times that almost anyone else would have thrown their hands up and just walked away. I had his support at times when I felt so alone and disappointed in where my life had wound up. His strength and love really helped me to focus on what is really important in this world. And part of what is important is me trying to live a healthy life, partaking in the many things there are to do all around me. Even as a fat person, he would tell me how beautiful I was to him.

Having failed countless times at dieting, I began my research on WLS after seeing the commercials on TV for Surgilite. It seemed too good to be true, I needed to learn more. I can’t express how useful the internet was in my information gathering phase. I quickly learned that there are several types of WLS out there. The one that seemed the most promising for quality of life afterwards was the DS.

After a year and a half of research, waiting, and jumping through hoops, I was finally scheduled in February of 2000. Part of me could not wait! The other part was scared to death.

Gaining my family’s support was not easy. I had to endure the “easy way out” implications, and hear stories about people that so and so know who had “the surgery” and who gained back all the weight they lost. It became apparent to me that not only do most people have no idea how many different kinds of surgeries there are out there, but that many don’t really care to know what makes one surgery different from another. I knew after battling my weight for over 20 years that I was going to do this because I couldn’t stand the thought of struggling for the rest of my life just to keep gaining pounds and misery.

I was fortunate to have James backing me up. He did not WANT for me to have this surgery, he would much prefer that I manage by my own devices. That just wasn’t possible though, and after seeing me suffer with so many failures he accepted and supported my decision.

 
Left: February 23, 2000 - Home at last! My lap incisions. I had begun exercising and preparing for surgery, so when I checked in surgery morning, my weight was 220 pounds.
Right: March 2000 - About a month post-op. My weight here was about 190 pounds. I was losing very quickly.

So I have my surgery, and as we all know that is a bumpy ride at best for the first year post op. It was not easy to adjust to my new capacity and the fact that I could not eat everything that I used to. I was one that got lots of stomach aches, so my menu progressed very slowly. At the same time, though, a miracle was happening… I was shrinking and shrinking, and feeling so light on my feet. For the first time in who knew how long, I was having the problem of my clothes being too big! I was actually fitting in the smaller size clothes that I was buying, not wasting money on my "goal" pants or tops.

 
Left: Still adjusting to the new tummy, getting past the “What did I do to myself” phase I went though. Weight about 150 pounds.
Right: August 2001 - James and me leaving for South Sacramento. He is going to the California Highway Patrol Academy. Now it is my turn to be supportive. My weight here is about 110 pounds.

Dealing with the day to day of life in my new body was a challenge, I felt like a stranger in my own skin. Of course, the weight loss was a dream come true. More of the challenge came from people around me like co-workers and my family. Some people are really supportive, they will have sincerely kind words and express happiness for the good changes happening. Others can be unkind, and extremely critical. There are many in between those two ends of the scope.

It is beyond our control how others will react. If someone was rude or obnoxious in commenting about my weight loss and wanted to treat me in a way that was supposed to make me feel badly, I would remind myself that I did something good for myself and it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.

They didn’t suffer every waking moment feeling ashamed of themselves like I did when I weighed 250 pounds, knowing that my body was getting less and less forgiving of what I had been doing to it.

I wasn’t going to wait until I got cancer or diabetes or worse.

 
Left: October 2001 - Going to a Halloween party. For the first time in years, I was not a party pooper. I got dressed up and had FUN!
Right: I don’t remember the last time I was dancing and smiling the whole time.

I feel like I have been born again. The burden of those extra pounds on my body every second of every day has been taken away, and it feels like such a relief. Sometimes if I am walking by a window or a mirror, I recognize myself and think "geez, remember where I came from". Never thought I would succeed in losing any significant amount of weight, much less KEEP it off. But I have so far, at three plus years post op, managed to stay my new smaller size.

Above: James’ CHP graduation. I met new people and blended right in. No more feeling like a misfit.

I used to be obsessed with food, and what I would eat next. Now it doesn’t control me like it used to, I feel a calm about it that I never would have thought possible. It is definitely a foreign feeling to have to remind myself to eat every once in a while.
I will never forget the first time someone used the word "tiny" on me. I work in a grocery store (I wonder is that ironic???) and one day on my break I was standing at the service deli ordering a fried drumstick. This lady hears me and says "why don’t you get 2, you’re so tiny you could get away with it!" I laughed and told her that if I had more than ten minutes to eat, maybe I would. But that was a milestone in my life, post op.

James and I eventually got married and life has gone on with all the various ups and downs.

 
Left: August 31, 2002 - My anchor through it all... my best friend, James. Today, my best friend will become my husband.
Right: Now Mr. and Mrs. Oberlander

 
Left: I did not fear this bite of cake or feel shame for eating it. Food is no longer my enemy.
Right: Although it was not easy being the center of attention this day, I did not once feel embarrassed or ashamed of myself. I was able to live in the moment and soak up the specialness of my happy occasion. My weight has been stable for one year at 115 pounds.

Now even as a smaller person I still have problems. I still get riled up every now and again. I am no social butterfly even at this point. My personality hasn’t drastically changed. Losing weight hasn’t taken all the bad out of my life, but it has freed me from my codependency with food, and that has boosted my confidence. I can’t put a price on increased self confidence, it is invaluable.

I continue on my journey, looking forward to the future more than I ever have.

June 24th, 2004

I gave birth to my first child. She was born healthy and strong, and continues to thrive every day. She is the love of our lives!

 
Left: This picture is of she and I and was taken early the next morning after she was born. She was peeking out at the camera!; Right: That smile just melts me! She was 10 weeks old in this one.

This picture was taken at 5 months of age. She is another fine example that a post op DS'er can have a healthy baby.

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