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Surgeon: Dr. Ara Keshishian, Delano, CA Latest update: April 2006
Click here to jump down to my ONE YEAR POST-OP UPDATE! Dear Reader: Here I am! I have been overweight my entire life. I am sure that you can relate, and can even fill in some of the details of what it has been like living in an obese body…the social stigma, ridicule, physical limitations and humiliation. I decided to have the BPD/DS and am happy I did. I have posted the letter that I wrote my family and friends prior to the operation to illustrate who I am and why I chose this procedure. I have also posted the update letter I sent them at 3 months post-op. Wherever you are in your journey, pre-op, post-op, or as a support to a loved one…I wish you success. Arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible and make the right choice for YOURSELF! After all, YOU know what’s BEST FOR YOU! Blessings, P.S. Please feel free to email me if you have any questions. LETTER TO MY FAMILY: Dear Family and Friends, It’s difficult to write a letter like this. The difficulty is not in delivering the subject matter but in trying to convey my emotion and passion. So, without any further delay, I will start at the very beginning! I began researching weight loss surgery in January of 1999. After our wedding, the research became more intense. I attended 4 seminars in California during 2000 and learned about the various types of weight loss surgery. I spoke to doctors, pre-op patients, post-op patients, visited every website I could uncover, read medical journals and reports. Contacted the American Society of Bariatric Medicine to research doctors, surgeons and procedures. I read independent studies conducted by surgeons from Canada, the U.S. and Europe on various surgeries. I followed stories of celebrities who underwent different types of surgery. I researched, and researched! I armed myself with knowledge. Then, when I felt fully educated, I decided. I made the decision to have weight loss surgery, specifically, gastric reduction with duodenal switch or the “DS” as it’s referred to. For me, the decision wasn’t just about “getting skinny”. In fact, vanity was barely a variable. I have experienced minor health problems related to obesity for about 2 years. So, my health and quality of life were my main focus. Another factor I considered was this very simple fact; I LOVE MY LIFE! Over the last 10 years I have worked very diligently to get to know myself, and to face my issues and I wanted to keep the evolution of “Melanie” going, I wanted that journey to continue without the odds of disease stacked against me. Living in an obese body increases my chances of getting ovarian, breast or other cancers by 300%. Living in an obese body also increases my chances of heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and an unending list of other co-morbidites. I decided that living in my obese body wasn’t an option for my life strategy any longer. After deciding to have surgery in November of 2000, I made a shift in my attitude about my body and started being more conscious. I began treating my body better and “speaking” to it in a different way. I became more aware. I began to examine my habits with great scrutiny. I got more physical, I began making better food choices and staying aware. I began to prepare for the upcoming “bend in the road” on my journey both physically and emotionally. I kept my decision private, telling only Dard and Lara. I needed to have my privacy and remain in the positive state that I had reached regarding my choice – without anyone else’s opinions, worry or fear. Eventually I told my parents and then my two best girlfriends…and now all of you…which makes me so happy. I am so proud to tell you. It feels great to share with you one of the biggest decisions I have ever made and to do so with total belief in myself. I feel courageous. I feel powerful. I feel strong. I feel blessed. I feel love…the true love of self I am excited about living life without obesity and I look forward to the challenges that are ahead of me. I will have my ”re-birthday” as I like to call it on Monday, April 23. Dr. Ara Keshishian will operate at 7:00am. My hospital stay will be about 4 days. Dard, my Mom, my Dad and Jennifer, and Lara, Dave and Harrison will be at the hospital. All will help in the recuperation period at home at various times. The average recovery time is about 4 weeks. I should be back to work by the middle of May. I will be losing weight fairly quickly (the window of weight loss is 18 months) and so when I see you I will look different. I may also be experiencing many different emotions, facing challenges and experiencing growth/change. This will definitely be an adventure – but one look forward to being on! If you would like to know more about the “DS” procedure, visit www.duodenalswitch.com, or my surgeon’s website, www.gr-ds.com. Or, please feel free to call or write if you like. I love and appreciate you very much. You are a blessing to me! I hope to see you very soon! With gratitude, DS UPDATE LETTER: Dear Family and Friends, July 2001 I thought I’d write to let you know how I am doing since my surgery…what a journey this has been so far! I am happy to report that I am feeling 99% myself and each day is better than the last. The support I have received from you has buoyed me through this interesting time. I thank you for your beautiful letters, cards and flowers…the expressions of love and encouragement were overwhelming. My surgery went well, and was performed in record time, just about 2 hours and 20 minutes. While performing the “DS”, the doctor also removed my gallbladder and appendix, which is standard procedure. While “in there” he examined my uterus and ovaries, which are “very healthy” and also reported that I have a “pristine liver”! Who knew? While in the hospital recovering on day three, my temp went up and I began to have pain in my upper right quadrant of my chest, radiating to my right arm. The doctor came into check on me, noticed the red liquid Tylenol in one of my drains from my abdomen. He suspected I had developed a leak. I was in pain, and worried but knew there was a 3% chance of this occurring. After ingesting barium, I had an x-ray, which indeed detected a leak at the connection between my duodenum and small bowel. I was given two options; immediate surgery or IV nutrition for a month while the leak closed naturally. I chose surgery. I awoke from surgery #2 feeling much better. When I returned home, (which was a great treat considering Delano, California is…well, it’s an armpit of a town!) I began the process of eating again, getting all of my fluids in and learning how to give my body what it needed. The first few weeks were scary. I felt like I didn’t know my body and its habits any longer. I was in a MAJOR learning curve! Luckily, I had my Mom with me for 1 week; Steve and Sue for a week and of course Dard. I had daily visits from my Dad and Jennifer and calls from loved ones! I returned to work on May 14, working half days. My energy returned back to normal at about 7 weeks out from surgery. I couldn’t believe how tired I was. I knew this was a MAJOR surgery, but since I had never had any previous surgery, I didn’t realize what a toll it takes on the body and your psyche! I felt like a Mack truck hit me! Today, I am almost 100%. I take a water aerobics class 4 times per week and feel very strong. My blood pressure has gone from 139/85 to 100/70. My cholesterol has gone from 240 to 179. My body mass index, which was 44 (morbidly obese), is now 37 (obese category, but headed in the right direction). I no longer have the health problems I had been experiencing over the past two years. The fact that I have lost 50 pounds is the “icing on the cake”. I am not limited as to what I am able to eat. I eat about ½ of what I used to, practicing moderation and concentrating on protein first. I take one multivitamin per day and calcium, which is required for my lifetime aftercare. My 3-month check-up was great, and I do not have to return for another visit until October, which will be my 6-month check-up. I do see my doctor at monthly support group meetings, which are held in San Luis Obispo County. I love attending the meetings, sharing my experience and educating others. I can honestly say that if I had to do it all over again, I would. The best part of it all is that I am feeling very in tune with my body! I feel like my behaviors are under control and I actually have balance in an area of my life that has been so grossly out of balance for as long as I can remember. Again, thank you for your love and support – it has meant the world to me. With gratitude, April 2002 Dear Family and Friends, Well it’s been a year since my weight loss surgery. I can hardly believe it myself. This year was full of twists and turns physically, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. It’s been a year that I have savored, loved, endured, risen, fallen, questioned and pioneered. This year, I lived with three constant companions on a daily basis; humility, gratitude and most of all faith. This experience has been the greatest gift. With each day that passes, I am reminded that my diligent research, my surgeon’s outstanding skill and my amazing support system were the catalysts to this place. This place/space/body feels real, true, alive, healthy, vibrant, sturdy and bright. I feel like the person I always knew I was inside though now, -- I am an accurate physical portrayal of myself. I don’t feel trapped, ashamed or like a failure as I did when in stood in my obesity. I have come to the conclusion that I let my body become the excuse for not living my life the way I wanted. I would tell myself, “Melanie, when you lose weight, then you can finish college” or “then you can try a yoga class” or “then people will take you seriously”…the list goes on. As I look back at those thoughts, I am surprised that I sold myself that “bill of goods”. It’s amazing what we believe about ourselves. Today, I know that I have all the same potential that I have always had, obese or not. The difference now is that I believe in myself. I believe that my goals are now within reach, and that I have the tenacity to achieve whatever I set in front of me. I know that I will still face challenges and have feelings of trepidation, doubt and anxiety. However, I won’t have the “big excuse of fat” there for me to defer to. That roadblock is gone -- the fat suit is out the door, the amour is off! I look forward to steering my life where I want it to go and taking on whatever comes my way. Physically, I am 109 pounds lighter! ONE HUNDRED AND NINE POUNDS! That is two Costco size bags of dog food! “ I have lost a supermodel”, as a woman in my Weight Loss Surgery Support Group says! I finally weigh less than the weight I listed on my driver’s license! YAHOO! Since April 23, 2001, I have lost 61 inches! I have great blood pressure, my cholesterol is a whopping 140, my blood sugars are normal and my body fat has gone from 51% to 26%! I am exercising at least 4 times per week and have even been running with Dard. I have concluded that running is a total mental battle…much more than a physical battle…BUT I am doing it regardless because I can and it feels amazing! I am able to shop for clothing anywhere, which is such fun! I have gone from a size 24/3X pants to an 11/12 and from a size 20 shirt to a size small. I didn’t anticipate the overwhelming experience of buying smaller clothes. I totally underestimated the joy associated with being able to buy off the rack from any store! So, there you have it. This has been in interesting year on all levels – and a year that I would not have been able to get through without the love and support of each of you. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I look forward to giving that love and support back to you. With gratitude,
TWO YEAR POST-OP UPDATE Dear Family and Friends, Well, its official…I achieved my goal! Perfect blood pressure, cholesterol at 139, no aches and pains, no sore feet and knees, perfect blood work, no more embarrassing social situations (weight related ones anyway!), no more shopping in “specialty” stores for clothes and minus 130 pounds! Well, let me restate the last tidbit and clarify…I’ve actually lost 360 pounds if you count the husband that I lost traveling down these last two years. Please, laugh with me, its okay! April 23 will mark the two-year anniversary of my weight loss surgery. Officially, my “weight loss window” is closed. I will now maintain my loss by continuing with my new habits, my annual lab work and a positive attitude! I can hardly believe that it’s been two years since I made the move to transform my body/self. To this day, I continue to believe that it’s been the greatest thing I have ever done for myself. Like most situations in life, this process has been bittersweet. Thank goodness. I am truly grateful for all of the twists and turns that have been placed on my path. The most significant curve faced, which took all of the navigational skills I could muster, was Dard moving out of the house. He moved in August. The last year and a half of our marriage prior to his departure was extremely difficult. In that time, I faced the issues as best as I could, trying everything I could think of to understand and salvage our relationship without being a doormat and maintaining my new found self-respect. While the efforts were strong, the end result was failure. My marriage failed. With that said, I will also say this; in that failure and in the process of it all, I found success. I succeeded in understanding more about my relationship and myself. I found out what I need and deserve from a mate. I discovered what I would not put up with. I discovered that I am stronger than I ever imagined myself to be. I found my worth. I excavated me. The process was slow, painful and arduous, much like the physical part of my surgery. The ending of a marriage stresses a person in ways that I never imagined. I expected the financial strain, the emotional pain and hurt. What I didn’t expect was for the process to get “ugly”. But, what can you do? I say with certainty that I have made the best decision as it feels right, clear and true. I wish Dard well. I wish him everything good and a long life where he finds happiness. I can remember the first anniversary of my surgery. I made a lovely dinner for us. I set the table and was going to share a meal, share my feelings and revel in my accomplishments thus far. As I sat at at the table alone, I thought to myself…this feels foreign, uncomfortable and I should be celebrating with my partner! By that time, so much had happened and we were straining. I was so disappointed. I wrote in my journal that night, promising myself that whatever my situation, next year I will celebrate in Manhattan. I didn’t know how, but I’d get there and be in a better place either with or without my husband. On April 23rd this year, I will be in Manhattan. And believe me, I will be in that city celebrating, enjoying life and all that it shows me. I will be brimming with gratitude and reflecting on all that has transpired. (And maybe I’ll even spin around and throw my hat in the air like Marlo Thomas! Or was that Mary Tyler Moore?) I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for helping get to where I am today. I couldn’t have gotten here without the amazing support system that surrounds me. I am in a space that I have always dreamed of…a place where my head, my heart and my body are in synchronicity. It feels amazing. Again, thank you. Be good to each other and kind to yourselves. With love and gratitude, Hi Friends, I thought I would update my DS page! I have had a great couple of months since my 2 year anniversary update in April! Since then, I moved in with my boyfriend and began training for a marathon. I joined an organization call "Team In Training" that trains people to run or walk marathons, in order to raise money for Lymphoma and Leukemia. It was an awesome experience. I had to raise $4,700 to get to Maui and run my marathon on September 21! And I did! As far as the DS and long distance running working together, it was no problem. I always ran with water, made sure to eat extra protein, about 20 more grams per day, and ensured that my supplements were taken as usual. I maintained my weight during the process...didn't gain or lose. It was a great experience. So, take comfort in knowing that as a DS-er, you can run a marathon!!!! Wooo Hooo! I have attached an email with photos that I sent to friends and family when I returned from Maui in September, and I thought I would share it with you. Enjoy the read, and please feel free to email me with any questions.
September 29th, 2003 What a week I had in Maui! I completed my marathon and got engaged!!! It was the best week of my life!!!
I will NEVER forget it! We then sat down on a log on the beach and he proceeded to tell me that my whole family knew...He asked my Dad for his blessing, and my mom & Steve, Jennifer, Lara...everyone knew about this proposal!! I was just floored!! Then he told me how his brothers knew and his parents...and how he designed my ring, etc...I started to cry again. He said that when he gave the man on the beach the camera, he told him that he was proposing to me and that he should take a few pictures! I am so glad he did...the pictures ar amazing!!!
Fast forward to Sunday Morning at 2:30AM. I board the bus to get to marathon starting line. The marathon begins 5am. POP when the starting gun and we were off! I finished at a slower time than I had once hoped to finish, but I did it! The night before the race, I wrote down my goals for the marathon and really tried to clarify what I wanted to accomplish. My goals were: a. Finish standing up.
On mile 22 I heard someone yell, "That's my daughter, here she comes!" It was my father! He and Patrick worked a water stop for a few hours and it was great to run into them in Lahaina...only miles from the finish line! Bottom line? I DID IT! I finished the marathon. 6.5 hours. It was one of the best experiences I have ever had. I met so many nice people during the training process and at the event itself, and accomplishing this was a huge thing for me. I don't know if I will do another one especially since this first experience was so gratifying - I don't know how it could get much better!
Again thank you for all of your support, I couldn't have done it without you! Be kind to yourselves and good to one another... With love, gratitude and SO MUCH HAPPINESS,
Hi Everyone, Thought I would update my page and tell you what's been going on. Today, as I write this, I am 160 pounds. Just about 10 pounds up from my all time low of 149...though as predicted, you get to your low and then bounce back up! I have maintained the weight loss by watching my sugar intake and exercising moderately. It has been wonderful to feel so normal and in tune with my body. I still would choose surgery in a heartbeart! I celebrated my three year anniversaryt in April. My labs were generally good, however, we found that I am malabsorbing calcium. I have been put on calcitral for three months and been told to chew my Viactive throughout the day versus all at once as I had been doing! I will do what the doctor says and we will see how the lab work is in November! So, there is the health update...now for the fun stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
I have attached some photos for you to see...I had to...I have never felt as beautiful as I did on that day! I guess it was the right day to have that feeling...I loved every minute of it and have loved being married to a man that sees me as an equal, who is respectful and who sees me for who I am! Thanks for the read, and if you have a question, please email me...I love to help wherever I am able to! April 2006 – My 5 year DS Anniversary Hey Friends, I thought I would update my page since it’s been so long. Well, first and foremost, I am a new MOTHER! Can you believe it? I swear, I have to pinch myself. We are the proud parents of a baby girl…Finley Siobhan (pronounced sha-vaughn). She was born on September 24, 2005 at 9:26 am. She weighed 7 pounds, 4 ounces and was 21 inched long. She was perfect…all fingers and toes and in great health! Right when she was born and they put her on my chest, I felt like a million bucks! It was better than reaching my weight loss goal, better than crossing the finish line…better than anything! I was so in love right away!
The pregnancy went very well. My OB did extra bloodwork during the pregnancy. I also took an extra multi vitamin in addition to my daily multi, my prenatal vitamin and calcium. Aside from those extras all was normal. I gained a total of 26 pounds. While the scale was going up, it was hard on my brain. I knew that I had to gain weight because of the health of the baby, but it was difficult to see that scale in the high 180’s. Luckily most of the weight was off in a week and all of the weight came off within 30 days.
Life as a mother is awesome. I continue to look forward to everyday and the newness it brings. I also have fallen even more in love with my husband. I love watching Patrick with our daughter. She is the apple of her Daddy’s eye and I take such pleasure in the relationship they have created and the family that we now have. I am grateful to be a “normal” sized Mom. The thought of being able to chase her around without the threat of a heart attack makes me smile. I am so happy I had this surgery and altered my body/life. The last 5 years have been so interesting and rewarding. I feel like I am living the life I always dreamed of having.
If you are new on this journey, send questions. If you are considering becoming pregnant post DS, ask questions. Or, if you are just an old friend catching up…drop me a note.
With love, Melanie Mulvaney |
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We arrived on Friday in Maui. Great flight with teammates...Arrived safely and ON TIME! Got our rental car. We are driving along the ocean and Patrick says, "You wanna put your toes in the water?" So we go to the beach to put our feet in the sand. Patrick tells me that he wants to have a guy we see on the beach take our picture. And I think this is great since prior to the trip I had mentioned that I wanted to ask strangers to take pictures of us together as we don't have many photos of "us" from our travels...just pictures of him, and of me. So when he asked the guy to take our picture, I thought he was just going with the "picture flow" as I had mentioned. So, I am playing with a dog on the beach and Patrick walks over to me and I begin to pose for the picture. Patrick says, "Melanie Mulvaney", and while I am still looking at the camera, gets down on his knee! I turn around to look at him and I realize I have to look down! There he is, down on one knee, saying the sweetest things and proposing! Meanwhile, random man is snapping photos!
I said, "Yes, Yes, of course"...and cried and then cried some more! I think I said about 50 times, "I am so happy!!" I was amazed and then when I saw the ring, I really screamed...as it is beautiful! Just a great moment in my life.
I was so overwhelmed with gratitude, with love, with everything wonderful that you can imagine! It was the BEST. I truly felt (and still feel) like the luckiest girl in the world!!! And the best part is that I know he feels the same way! (But he feels like a lucky boy, not a lucky girl! :) Hee Hee!!!)
So that is exactly what I did. I took it slow and I had a total blast! I ran with a fellow teammate, Linda...and we just loved it...we talked a little...took in the sights, checked in with each other, took pictures and enjoyed that day immensely!
I wore all of the names of people afflicted with cancer on my jersey that were sent in to me with your contributions...I had 34 names with my "MOM" at the top...it was great to have all of names on my back traveling with me...there is a picture of my jersey attached. OLN (Outdoor Living Network) interviewed me about my jersey and asked why I was running the marathon...so I talked about Team in Training, and cancer, and the whole process...it was great!
S
I was married on June 5th! It was the time of our lives. We had family and firends gather at a victorian estate here in San Luis Obispo, CA. We enjoyed a cocktail reception, had a friend perform our ceremony, enjoyed a BBQ buffet, dancing and cupcakes for everyone!!!! It was a spectacular day!!! Patrick and I wrote our own vows - hearing him and then saying mine was so amazing...I think everyone was crying!
We started trying to get pregnant in October of 2004, and luckily it didn’t take very long. I think what really helped me was purchasing an ovulation kit. I suspected I was pregnant when my jawline broke out in a little pimply rash, much like the “hormone related” rash I got 3 months post op. I figured my hormones were doing something again when that rash appeared. I think the best part of finding out I was pregnant was telling Patrick. That moment was awesome and will go down as one of the best days of my life…that was January 11, 2005.
The birthing process was CRAZY for us. I literally didn’t know what hit me. I had about an hour of mild contractions at home beginning at 7:30 am. They felt like regular menstrual cramps. We left the house and arrived at the hospital at 9:01 am. I was in terrible pain! I was begging the nurse for an epidural, morphine, a mallot to the head, ANYTHING!!!!! But she looked at me and said this, “sorry sweetie, its too late, you can’t have anything, your baby is right here!” That was my worst nightmare!!! Then, three pushes later, Finley was born! I couldn’t believe it! 25 minutes and we had our little girl…at 9:26 am! The pain was horrible, but totally worth it!!!
When I began this journey and started researching the DS, I was 309 pounds. I felt doomed to a life of heartache, shame and insecurity. Gratefully today I am healthy and remain so full of gratitude. I am 160 pounds as I write this and I am happy with my body. Sure, I have areas I’d like to fix…some loose skin on my inner and outer thighs and my stomach has a few stretch marks, mostly from the pregnancy…but I REALLY LOVE MY BODY. It feels goog to write that sentence!! I still eat protein first. I still religiously take my supplements. I still talk to and see my surgeon. I still get my annual lab work done. I still am committed to the DS post op care which keeps me healthy. I still am happy I chose this procedure.
Be well, and be good to yourself!